My Early Life

• I was born in Shetland where my Father had his first Methodist Church. The Methodists having brought a mission to that Island (north of Scotland) several centuries ago. Generally vicars get a free house: manse and a bit of garden to grow vegetables on to supplement their meagher income which comes from the parishioners after all, and vast investments in land and companies from when many people gave their life savings to the Church on Death. There was only one TV channel, he had to cut peat for fuel, and crush cans and bury them as there was no Rubbish collection. The main activaties where Church, Fishing, Farming Sheep, and Knitting Shetland Jumpers. This was just before the Oil Men arrived. The current population of Shetland is 21,500 and 30,000 Oil Men who fly up from Aberdeen to the new airport, then on to the rigs in Helicopters. You can also get the boat. I went back when I was about 10 and was sea sick a lot. They still have the Norse festival of Uphalia, the burning of the boat. A practice that confirmed their decision to settle new lands with no going back. Shetland and Orkney were part of the King of Norway's Realm until 300 years ago.

  The Oil Men get paid very well. They work 2 weeks on, and two weeks off. It was uncertain whether the rigs would stay open when oil hit a record low of $12/barrel a few years ago due to the high cost and technical nature of recovery under sea. Although this has reduced with new inventions. Many Oil rigs are almost at the end of their life, but they seem to have found new Oil to the West of Shetland. Oil is now at $60/barrel! And may reach $100/barrel in a few years thanks to record demand due to new markets such as China and India, and unstability in many countries it comes from. The answer seems obvious: build more nuclear power stations! Which I understand President Bush and Tony Blair are planning due to the high price of energy and having to import so much Oil and Gas.

• Methodists believe it is wrong to gamble and that you should only drink in moderation. Our denomination was set up to lift the poor out of poverty through self help, co-operatives, ending wasting money (on Alcohol, Cigarettes, and Gambling), faith etc... It is now in decline with few young members due in part to it's success in ending poverty in the West. Off-shoots include the Unitied Reformed Church which seeks to bring all minor denominations together, and the Church of the Nazerene which merged with an Eastern Church.

• My First Memories are of the TV Test Card (with the girl, noughts and crosses blackboard, and balloons); singing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star how I wonder what you are'; and 'Ten little, nine little, eight little Indians...'.

• I have moved round quite a lot due to my Father being in the RAF (Royal Air Force) offering spritial support to members of the Church of Scotland and Free Churches. The RAF used to re-post families every 3 years! He had to get a Degree in Theology from University, and learn Hebrew and Ancient Greek which the Old and New Testaments were origionally written in respectively. The Gospel of the Aspostle (disciple) John wasn't written until he was over 100 years old in the Greek Ionian City of Ephesus on the coast of Western Asia Minor, home to one of the seven wonders of the world. All I can remember about his Sermons is that we had to pray for this or that natural disaster that was on the news. And the grace at the end when we could all go home. I was also proud when he came to our School to preach. I didn't go to Sunday School as I was shy. Mark my brother had to sing a Christmas hymn once on the radio with another boy, but he bottled out and left Mark singing it on his own. There is now a shortage a Vicars, but not a accute as Priests in the Catholic Church.

• My Father was posted to West Germany in the late '70's when I was young and had a 6 month escondment to Bahrain were the RAF had a Squadron based to defend the Emirate from Iran. However we pulled out while he was there without informing the Emir who very much wanted us to stay, even leaving the Mess set for Dinner so as not to warn him. Bahrain is now connected to Saudi Aradia by causeway so in the event of an invasion Saudi forces can quickly intervene in aid.

  My Father started as an Officer: Squadron Leader, was later promoted to Wing Commander (although he never commanded a Wing), and could have been Minister to the Queen if he had stayed in long enough. But he didn’t like all the paper work and not having a Parish. I dined in the Officer’s Mess once or twice, the quality of the food is exemplary.

  We were based in Rheindahlen, a combined Army and RAF base, near the Dutch boarder in then West Germany (the British sector). It is the Headquarters of the British Army of the Rhine, commanded by a four-star General. It is said NATO forces could last no longer than 3 weeks on mainland Europe against the Warsaw Pact. Out numbered 4 to 1. The forces were only really to stop the Soviet's infiltrating our boarders; give time for negotian before Doomsday and Nuclear Winter; and reassure the public.

  I don't remember much about my time in Germany except that we used to swap toy cars through a hole in the Quarters attic dividing wall with some other kids, and every major station had a train set which you could attivate by putting ten fennigs in the slot. Also they used to throw sweets out a the Christmas Carnivals. While at Primary School there one time a pupil told me it was time to go home at Lunch time so I did, and my Mother had to bring me back. The teacher wasn’t very happy. I also used to like Chocolate Milk (and still do) a lot, and German Sausages (of which there are many many) in a dish of Tomato Ketchup. Once after Church I went for a Recky (Reconnoitre, search of the surrounding area) and found a large circular drain which I was small enough to enter. And I swear I saw a small Ghost, laying resting in the shape of a fried egg.